Infidelity and other betrayals

Physical affairs, emotional affairs and financial betrayals are a few of the most common types of betrayals a couple may experience. When there has been a breach of trust that has been discovered, the body responds with a fight or flight response and emotions can be intense. The way one responds and recovers from it is also partly dependent on past experiences. For the one being betrayed, the events may replay over and over in one’s mind and it’s normal for the emotions to be so incredibly intense, it can be hard to function. In such a state, there is a heightened need to focus on the details so the events make sense. The fight or flight or trauma reaction can keep one in this endless loop of replaying it over and over in the mind. For the one who has betrayed their partner, the feelings of guilt and shame can be overwhelming as well. Those feelings may lead the person to want to move on and not revisit what happened. Within the couple relationship, these needs can seem at odds with each other, but when carefully guided in therapy, both partner’s needs are addressed and balanced.

With counseling help, a couple can find a safe space to ask the questions that need answers and understand the why’s and how’s of what happened. Insight is necessary for preventing it in the future. Tools are needed for managing the emotions, setting boundaries around how to communicate during this difficult time and establishing trust. New understandings and agreements lead a couple to feel confident it won’t happen again. It is possible to overcome and even get to a place of deeper understanding and love for one another.